Put It On My Tab

New designer boots you just have to have, $182. Silver bracelet with matching earrings that will go with any outfit, $599. Massage chair that looked wonderful on the infomercial, $734. Becoming a typical American who will never be able to pay off their credit card debt, priceless. Because let’s face it, sometimes you can’t wait until you actually have the money, that is ludicrous! What if it is a limited time offer, or there is a two for one sale, waiting would be absurd. We have all seen the signs, “Buy And Save” and is that not what we are all about in this country? Who cares if little Timmy no longer has a college fund, we need the money to buy ever more useless crap to stimulate our uneventful lives. Sure you may pay more in interest each month than the actual item itself cost, but hey, at least you had it for those extra two months it would have taken you to save the money! However, I’ve lingered far too long on the matter itself and many of you may be wondering, “Why make any changes at all?” “We’ve made it this far, what would be the point of making such a dramatic change in our lifestyle?” I shall be frank. The massive debt a common individual incurs through the use of their beloved credit cards grows every year. At this alarming rate, the average monthly payment will scarcely cover the accumulating interest on these outstanding debts, doing absolutely nothing to diminish the debt itself. We are slowly destroying ourselves from the inside out, and will soon be so consumed by our own over indulgences that we may find ourselves with nothing but left but the complete set of the Magic Bullet preparation kit displayed on last night’s infomercial. And while this reality creeps into many of your minds as you rush to check the mail for your latest credit statement I offer my condolences and implore you and the rest of our superficial nation to exercise a bit of restraint the next time you see an ad for the Cutco knives that are guaranteed to slice through a plate of reinforced steel. And perhaps ask yourself, when they offer to double your purchase if you order in the next 60 seconds, do you really need to be cutting through steel in the first place? I certainly hope not. But once again, I suppose these are simply the peculiarities of being normal.