Quirks of Life

        People spend the greater deal of their lives in the vain attempt to portray themselves as normal. Why do we feel this need to hide the strangeness of our everyday lives, those never failing instances when you think to yourself, “Thank God nobody saw that” or “Boy, if only they knew what I was thinking…” Well, I’ve decided to embark on a mission to bring these quirks of everyday life to light, making us all feel just a little bit more normal. Have you ever been desperately searching for your glasses, and on the brink of giving up you realize they have been on your head the entire time…Have you ever begun a conversation with a person but half way through you forget why you brought it up in the first place…Have you ever not known what to order so you ask for your waiter’s opinion, then ordered something totally different from what they suggested… Have you ever been served your food at a restaurant and when the waiter says, “Have a nice meal” you quickly respond without thinking, “Thanks, you too!” and then feel like a jackass… Have you ever been reading a book when you suddenly realize you can’t remember what the last page said because you were thinking about something totally different the entire time you were reading it, and after reading it again you still have no idea what it said…Have you ever been trying to set your Saturday night plans with a buddy through texting and it is taking far longer than it should, and for just a split second you wish to yourself that there were a more efficient means of communication you could use, immediately after thinking this you hate yourself for not simply calling him two hours ago…Have you ever walked into a room and can’t remember why you went into it in the first place…Have you ever been talking to yourself when someone walks in, so you have to pretend you were singing, and you desperately hope they believe there is actually a song that goes “what does she think I am, some kind of idiot”…And my personal favorite, have you ever looked at your watch, and you still don’t know what time it is, so you look again, but you still don’t know the time, then someone asks you, “Hey what time is it” and like an idiot you have to respond, “I DON'T KNOW!” causing them to question whether or not you can actually read a clock…These frequent and subtle lapses in our brain cause us to go crazy, and wonder “I hope this doesn’t just happen to me.” But I’m here to inform humanity, that these are merely the peculiarities of being normal.